Treinta y cuatro

I sit here, two days and three hours and ten minutes away from my thirty-fourth year, contemplating how to celebrate such a, not-so-landmark, occasion. In my difficulty doing so, I thought perhaps writing about my feelings on the matter might spark some sort of inspiration. I know, how very non-stereotypical of me.

I suppose a good place to start would be an undoubtedly short list of what I've learned over the last 34 years. In no particular order...

• Your upbringing means a lot, but not everything.
• The first time one experiences "the spins" from too much booze actually is NOT a good thing.
• There are good people and assholes no matter where you live.
• Getting a job in Los Angeles is NOT as easy as I found it to be EVERYWHERE else I've ever lived.
• Don't eat yellow snow.
• Things that taste like cinnamon and or mint should not be considered when ordering libations.
• Hiding your vegetables in your mashed potatoes is a waste of potatoes and, turns out, a bad habit in the making.
• Egg yolks are bad for you.
• Egg yolks are good for you.
• Egg-log is what is served at Comfort-Suites' continental breakfast.
• Being brought up with strong morals is a blessing and a burden.
• Pretending that you don't notice the bad in ANY relationship does not make it go away.
• Mental illness is still greatly misunderstood.
• The command "go out and play", for a child, is important on so many levels.
• Adventurous people usually do not choose the path of least resistance.
  
• School teaches you very little.
• After setting down your beer at a party, always look into it before drinking.
• Teaching someone how to drive early in life greatly increases their chance of survival.
• Using aluminum baseball bats below 45 degrees, sucks.
• Politics solve nothing. Commoners do.
• Fear is the cause of most unwanted behaviors.
  
• Purell is not the answer to good health.
• Corn-syrup sucks balls.
• Faith is important and pure in a way that organized religion is unable to be.
• School lunch is probably responsible for more deaths than it's given credit for.
• Cigarettes, while enjoyable when smoking them, smell like shit soon after. Oh yeah, and I guess cancer is pretty bad too.
• Playing music is therapeutic in a way that I've rarely experienced through other outlets.
• Fast food tastes good when you eat it often. It also tastes like poison when you don't.
• The Chicago Cubs will never win the World Series in my lifetime.
• Musicals generally suck as movies.
• Stand-up comedy might be the one most difficult jobs in America.
• Cheeseburgers, when done right, are really, really good.
• An early snowboarding run on a ski slope by yourself can evoke some of the most relaxing, peaceful feelings.
• Waiting tables is a skill.
• Hungry people are bitches.
• Red wine stains everything including lips and teeth.
• If you want to see a snake in person, leave your snakebite repair kit at home.
• If you want to get better at something, surround yourself with people who are better at it than you.
• Writing is easy. Sitting down to begin is damn near impossible.
• If you are in a pitch black room, a camera flash can be hours of entertainment.
• When in the mountains, it's very easy to mistake an avalanche for thunder.
• If you don't enjoy your job, find something you do enjoy and position yourself to be paid to do it. (I never said it was easy)
• Explore places, people and things outside of your comfort zone, otherwise you'll live a sheltered and boring life.
• There is no coincidence that baby shit looks the same as baby food.
• It is much harder to be yourself in all situations than people wish to believe.
• Bacon tastes good with virtually everything.
• My dad told me once, "Making friends is entirely up to you. If you wait on them to call you, they never will".
• The term friend is grossly overused.
• A best friend is someone who is still around even after 26 moves and switching coasts.
• Chili is awesome.
• A UND is an Unexpected Nasal Discharge. Water unexpectedly falls from your sinuses out of your nose, hours or sometimes days after having gone surfing.
• Be good to everyone and you will go a long way.
• Don't mow the lawn in sandals or with bare feet.
• Three-wheelers are an engineering failure.
• Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny are as much for parents as they are for children.
• Moderation is the key.
• Last but not least, if you understand that you aren't in control of anything, it will take a load off of your shoulders.

I'm sure that I've forgotten everything that is truly important and I'm sure I'll kick myself as soon as I push "Publish", but I did my best. There's another one. Always do your best. Enough cliche for one post.

In writing this, I've decided to choose a way to celebrate my birthday that is involving something I've yet to learn, as opposed to something I'm all too familiar with. Perhaps I'll write about the experience, whatever it may be.

~P

FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON ANYTHING IT SEEMS I HAVE LEFT OUT THAT A 34 YEAR OLD SHOULD KNOW! HUMOR WELCOMED!